On March 17th in Butte Montana, everyone is Irish. Even those of us who don’t have a drop of Emerald Isle blood running through our veins.

-Sidenote: For about 3 weeks my Ancestry profile showed me at 4% Irish. (My wife’s name is Shannon Sullivan, so I don’t think I need to go into specifics about her genetic makeup) My bride claims that I peaked over those 3 weeks, as that percentage has since dropped to 0.0%.

St Patricks Day Celebrations Return To The Streets Of Dublin
MARCH 17: A reveller wearing a pair of Kiss Me emblazoned sunglasses is kissed on the cheek. (Photo by Charles McQuillan/Getty Images)

I will always be kind of jealous of the artistry of the Irish. There are some incredible Irish bands, Bono and his cronies have sold a LOT of albums, and even gave us one free (that we quickly deleted from our phones), Thin Lizzy, The Cranberries, and The Pogues. Others like Stiff Little Finger, Therapy? And Flogging Molly have all made a huge impact on my life.

I am not even going to get into the Irish poet debate, I don’t want to get stabbed.

The one thing I truly love about the Irish are their toasts and blessings. They can convey so much emotion in so few words, it’s truly amazing. So this list is mainly for us ‘wannabes’ to deliver a great toast this weekend without sounding like a complete hack.

Let’s get started:

  1. May your troubles be less, and your blessings be more. And nothing but happiness come through your door.
  2. To all the days here and after, may they be filled with fond memories, happiness and laughter.
  3. May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future.
  4. May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live.
  5. May you be in heaven a full half hour before the devil knows you’re dead.
St Patricks Day Celebrations Return To The Streets Of Dublin
St Patricks Day Celebrations - (Photo by Charles McQuillan/Getty Images)

If you feel up to a little memorization here are a few that are a bit longer.

“Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and honest one
A cold pint and another one!”

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“ I drink to your health when I’m with you,
I drink to your health when I’m alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I’m starting to worry about my own!”

“May the lilt of Irish laughter
Lighten every load.
May the mist of Irish magic
Shorten every road
And may all your friends remember
All the favors you are owed!”

“My dear friends, they’re the best friends, each is
Loyal, trust-worty and able.
But now it’s time for drinking, so lift all of your
Glasses off the table!”

One more to send us off into the day:
“Let the winds of fortune sail you,
And may you sail a gentle sea.
And let it always be the other fella
Who says, “Lads- this drink’s on me”

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